Saturday, March 8, 2014

Living With The Dog Mamma: (Part 9) You Can Train A Woman

by Jerry Rade

You might remember that earlier in this saga I stated that when I first met Jana she was not a dog person. I can’t say that her evolution into a dog Mama happened overnight, but every once in a while I would have to sit back and try to analyze how changes had come to be.

It started out that dogs should be outside. 

Then it was okay for dogs to be inside. No dogs in the furniture turned into it’s okay once in a while. That turned into inviting the dog up to cuddle with her. And finally it turned into the dog taking up all of the bed.

It’s something like with the mom and dad of Jasmine’s best friend, Ty

Prior to meeting her boyfriend, it was just the girl and the dog Ty slept in the bed with her. When the boyfriend came along, Ty took exception to his wanting to join them.

One day, while out walking the dogs, she announced that they had found a solution to this dilemma and had gone out and bought another bed. I started to roar uncontrollably. She asked what I thought was so funny.

I replied, “oh good, now your boyfriend will have a place to sleep.”

I really shouldn’t have laughed about it, my position wasn’t any better.

One day, I purchased two small roasts. One was a beautiful prime rib and the other was a lesser cut, a blade roast if I remember correctly. I explained to Jana that they were both small roasts and could be cooked together.

The day came when Jana cooked up the roasts and I was drooling thinking about chewing that beautiful prime rib. When dinner was served I looked at my plate and saw that I had a piece of the blade roast. Although I was disappointed I didn’t have the nerve to say anything to Jana about me getting the blade roast and Jasmine getting the prime rib.

If you really don’t want the answer you shouldn’t asked the question. 

In an effort to find some compassion for my position I relayed the story to the vet at our next visit. Not only was there no compassion for me but the vet and his staff thought it was quite funny, and asked if I really expected it to be different.

[Jana] So it happened that I only cooked the one roast, because I forgot about the other one. Makes a better story, this way, though.

And it was like that for everything. 

When dinnertime came close to, 30 ingredients were placed on the counter for Jana to create Jasmine’s culinary delight. I was lucky if the frozen dinner was taken out of the box before it got warmed up.

Whatever Jasmine wanted, Jasmine got. 

If we were out for a walk and she showed interest in a toy that another dog had as soon as we returned home I had to go out and get one.

Every last person we know wants to be Jana’s dog. 

But there’s one thing they don’t know. It only seems to work that way to the females. Although JD is very well taken care of, he doesn’t lead the luxurious life that the females have. It seems to be another case of females having only empathy for other females.

I’ve said it a million times, if I could bottle went Jasmine used to train Jana I would be a billionaire. 

Men would pay any sum you wanted to be able to have that kind of power over woman. Unfortunately, females would never let a male have that kind of power.

And here’s a funny thing, I’m now watching Cookie do the same thing. 

Jana doesn’t want Cookie to choose sticks. It’s not the chewing is a problem, Cookie will devour the whole thing and eat it. That’s bad. So, while out for our walks, Cookie will find a stick and pick it up. Jana will ask her to drop it, which Cookie does, and then give her a treat as reward.

As JD and I are walking behind them I see Cookie grabbing a stick after stick. Any stick will do.  Jana asks her to drop it, Cookie does, and gets her reward.

Now Cookie is grabbing a stick every 5 feet and when Jana asked her to drop it she literally spits it out of her mouth and comes running back to the treat. Intention, perhaps?

Cookie has now has Jana treating her any time she wants.

All she needs to do is to pick up a stick.

Why doesn’t that worked for me? I mess up all the time and it never turns into an opportunity to get a reward.

Articles by Jerry Rade:
The Ups And Downs Of Dog Ramps
Living With The Dog Mamma: (Part 1) The Rest of the Story
Living With The Dog Mamma: (Part 2) A Dog In The House  
Living With The Dog Mamma: (Part 3) Maybe Having A Dog In The House Isn't Such A Bad Idea After All  
Living With The Dog Mamma: (Part 4) The New Puppy
Living With The Dog Mamma: (Part 5) Big B
Living With The Dog Mamma: (Part 6) JD 
Living With The Dog Mamma: (Part 7) It's A Male Thing 
Living With The Dog Mamma: (Part 8) Females Versus Males 


  1. Gee...I wonder what my hubby would write about me. I thought I had "arrived" as dog Mom before I met him but I started my blog while we are dating and I know I am a way crazier dog nut now :)

    1. It could be interesting as well, either way :-) To see how he sees things.

  2. Wow look at that massive plate of meat! *Drool*
    We loved exploring your blog and have joined your big group of followers after finding you through the blog hop. Hope you're having a good day!

    1. So nice to meet you, Bernie. Yeah, that was Jasmine's birthday stake, she enjoyed it very much :-)

  3. HILARIOUS!!!! We're training our new puppy and I feel your pain! My usually unending treat box is nearly empty!

    1. The biggest problem is that we never know WHAT we're actually training :-) Such as a way of acquiring treats.

  4. Haha. This is great! I want to be Jana's dog too :)

    Last week when Leroy was sick I had to boil him up some chicken breasts. I had it cooling on the counter and the kids kept coming up and taking some. They were a little upset that they were having mac and cheese for dinner and the dog was getting chicken!

    1. LOL Yeah, I remember when Jerry's son, while still living with us, was stealing Jasmine's food. (e.g. chicken breast, roast etc)

      When granny found out he was eating dog food, she freaked. I said, "Not dog food, mom, food for the dog." BIG difference.

      Tip: If you want to keep your dog's food safe from the bipeds in the family, add some liver and make sure everybody knows it. LOL

  5. what it comes to feeding your dog , that piece of rib *drool drool* :P and i must say that you have a beautiful dog :D