Saturday, March 15, 2014

Living With The Dog Mamma: (Part 10) You know you’re Married to Dog Mamma When ...

by Jerry Rade

Some time ago I promised Jana that I would write a couple of articles for her blog. Somehow that turned into 10, which just goes to prove that no good deed goes unpunished.

In this, my last article (until I get voluntold…again) I’m going to give you a few hints so that you can recognize when you have fallen into the abyss such as I have. But before going there I would like to make a few comments about Jana’s blog.

A few years ago, Jana said to me that she would like to start a blog for other dog owners.

We had found that although there is a lot of information available on the Internet, most did not seem to answer the questions we had regarding our dogs. As amazing as it may sound, not everything on the Internet is true. Without a doubt there are a lot of people posting good information but for some reason we could never seem to find the information we wanted, particularly when we were looking for real-life experiences.

So Jana started her blog to share our experiences and things we learned along the way.

Information that she had painstakingly vetted out, deciphered, and then put into words that most dog owners could understand.

Her first article, written about the Furminator dog brush, was in response to our not being able to find a user review prior to purchasing what I consider an expensive brush for a dog. Yes, there was manufacturer information but I take that with a grain of salt as well. No, I don’t really trust a good marketing campaign to always be 100% accurate.

So here was a brush that really did work as advertised. 

Although we spent far more than I had ever thought we would spend on a dog brush, it was well worth it and we've had probably spent a great deal more on brushes that we were not happy with. So Jana went about spreading the word.

Then there was stem cell treatment. 

Scarce information, and close to nothing from dog owners who had used the treatment for their own dogs. And on it went.

Jana works very hard not only for providing the best care for our own dogs, but also to help share information that may be of use to other dog owners in need. She has always had my full support, and will continue to do so since she is really trying to help dogs to have a better quality of life.

So now on to what I really want to write about ...

You know you are married to Dog Mama when:

  • You are too late to claim your 6 inches on the edge of the bed and find that your wife and dogs are spread all over the place. You say nothing, just curl up and go to sleep on the floor.
    [Jana] that is, of course, a slight exageration

  • Even though the fridge is packed with food, you realize that none of it is for you.

  • You go to bed early and from downstairs you hear your wife calling yes, YES, YYEESS and a lot of thumping sounds. You’re not worried about your wife cheating on you, she’s just dog training.

  • The shopping list is a mile-long and yet you realize your wife forgot to have you get something for your own supper.

  • The only vehicle you can own the rest of your life has to have enough room for the dogs to spread out and be comfortable.

  • Pillow talk is all centered around some medical procedure for dogs.

  • You can recite the full medical history of 20 dogs you have never met, nor you know their owners.

  • You can never have a bed or couch that is more than 6 inches off the floor because a dog may roll out of them and hurt themselves.

  • You can never go anywhere, other than work, without taking the dogs with you. If you do, the wife and dogs give you the cold shoulder upon return.

  • You can only have meals that can be shared with the dogs. If one of them has a restricted diet, your diet is restricted as well.
And finally ...
  •  Everyone says they want to be your wife’s dog, no one has said they wanted to be her husband.

Articles by Jerry Rade:
The Ups And Downs Of Dog Ramps
Living With The Dog Mamma: (Part 1) The Rest of the Story
Living With The Dog Mamma: (Part 2) A Dog In The House  
Living With The Dog Mamma: (Part 3) Maybe Having A Dog In The House Isn't Such A Bad Idea After All  
Living With The Dog Mamma: (Part 4) The New Puppy
Living With The Dog Mamma: (Part 5) Big B
Living With The Dog Mamma: (Part 6) JD 
Living With The Dog Mamma: (Part 7) It's A Male Thing 
Living With The Dog Mamma: (Part 8) Females Versus Males 
Living With The Dog Mamma: (Part 9) You Can Train A Woman 


  1. I so love his perspective stories!! especially being "voluntold" so hilarious..
    lol, keep writing! and best of luck loving and living with your pet fanatic,,you are not alone! be strong..

    1. Thanks! JD and I just suffer in silence............

  2. What a entertaining post. I just love your writing. Keep it up

    1. Thanks, but I'm trying to cut down on my doggy duties. The again, it depends on if Jana wants more (and how much trouble I'm in).

  3. Oh my gosh:

    "Everyone says they want to be your wife’s dog, no one has said they wanted to be her husband."

    THAT, is hilarious! :)

    1. :-) They also say that I must be an angel to put up with him but he left that part out LOL