Friday, April 12, 2013

The Last Act Of Love: Run Free, Jasmine

This morning, Jasmine reached a level of suffering we could not allow any more. Not with the poor, uncertain prognosis.

We set her spirit free from the body that failed her.


We always fought through all her medical horrors before, because the prognosis was always hopeful. But not this time.

We couldn't let her suffer any more, with such little hope for improvement.

Her spirit was bright as ever and wanted to go places and do things. But she would take two steps and collapse, shaking. She wouldn't eat, her stomach was constantly upset, and this morning was not even able to squat to pee.

It wasn't getting better, it was getting worse.

Run free, Jasmine, unbound by your ailing body. We loved you SO much, but you knew that. Know that everything we ever did was out of love.

Your ashes, baby, will make it to your ranch, where you were the happiest, even though you could not.

51 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh Jana, I'm so terribly sorry. :( Breaks my heart but I do know ya'll gave her the best life possible. My it ease your mind knowing she is no longer in pain and running free at Rainbow Bridge. My prayers and thoughts are with you. Run free Jasmine!

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  2. So sorry to hear about Jasmine. You gave her the most loving and selfless gift someone can give their dog. May she run free at the Rainbow Bridge.

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  3. Yes, we gave her our all. We grieve without regret. Still hurts like hell, though.

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    1. So sorry. For what it's worth, we're here for you. (hugs)

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  4. Grieving without regret should be our goal for all of our dogs. We will keep you in our hearts.

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    1. Thank you so much Roxanne. Wishing the you and Lilly hang in there and see many more good days.

      Yes, not having regrets makes the pain more bearable.

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  5. Following Jasmine's story has been painful...So much love but it wasn't enough...I'm so sorry it came to this...May her be free now

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    1. Thank you, Gizmo. All the love and things we brought in to help weren't enough this time. The universe conspired against her.

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  6. I am so very sorry to hear about your dear sweet Jasmine. There are no words to comfort such a loss, but one day your heart will smile with the loving memories. Run free dear Jasmine, run free.

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    1. Thank you, Brian. She was the sweetest, smartest (not always a good thing), caring, most beautiful girl on the planet.

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  7. So sorry to hear about Jasmine. My thoughts are with you. Big Hugs!!

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    1. Thank you, Karen. So painful. I swear I would have cut off my leg or my arm if I knew it was going to make her well.

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  8. So very sorry for your loss, Jana. Jasmine was indeed a beauty and so very lucky to have found you. Run free with angel's wings, sweet girl.

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    1. Beautiful, smart, caring ... just a gem of a dog.

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  9. Because of Jasmine, we have a wonderful blog to go to for timely and helpful information. Because of Jasmine, many have been inspired to take better care of their dogs. Because of Jasmine, the word is a better place. We will never forget her!

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  10. Oh Jana, I am so sorry to hear this and my heart is breaking for you and her. Your care for Jasmine has inspired me and taught me in so many ways, to never give up, to dig deep and always have hope.
    I know words can't help right now to ease your pain, but know that Jasmine is running at her ranch right now and watching over you.

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    1. Thank you, Jen. Unfortunately, sooner or later the time comes when hope is not an option any more. Until then, we always fought.

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  11. I'm so very sorry, Jana. Your love has been an inspiration. There is no doubt in my mind you made the right decision, awful as it was. ((( huge hugs)))

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    1. Thank you so much, Dr. V. I so wished she could have died happy; either with her face in bacon, or laying in the grass out in the woods. But she wasn't eating anything (her stomach upset from the antibiotics, stomach ulcer and her liver stressed out) and outside was freezing rain ...

      The whole universe conspired against her and there were no more tricks to pull which would have promising outcome.

      At least she is free from the suffering now.

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  12. The news hit me very hard this morning and i know how you must be hurting. I'm so sorry that sweet Jasmine is no longer with us, but feel comfort that she is no longer in pain. You did an amazing job of taking care of her and we all learned so much from your journey. Big hugs to you, RIP sweet Jasmine.

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    1. Thank you, Julie. Just so many things went wrong at the same time, there was no way out of it :-(

      And she had such a good day on Monday at the farm...

      Then we came home to the news of the MRSP and things just kept piling up and going downhill from there.

      I so wished for her to have at least one more summer up at her ranch, where she was so happy. But couldn't give it to her any more.

      She got very bad on Tuesday. We kept hoping for improvement which never came and we had no way to make it happen.

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  13. It's always hard to make the decision, but glad you were able to help her more peaceful and ease her pain.

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    1. She's been through worse before. But there was always good hope for recovery before. This time the odds just weren't there to warrant her suffering :-(

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  14. Jana, we are so sorry for your loss. We know how much you loved Jasmine and how hard your decision was. Know she is running free and pain free now.

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    1. I loved her so much it was nuts. We had umbilical cord between us. And now it's been severed by fate. She has always been and always will be the puppy of my life.

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  15. Woof! Woof! Sorry for your loss. Sending you Lots of Golden LOVE. Jasmine brought you many precious memories that you'll remember her forever. Lots of Golden Woofs, Sugar

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    1. Thank you, Sugar, nothing like Golden love. We certainly do have tons of memories. Just were hoping to be still making more ...

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  16. When I made that decision about Lucy, my vet reminded me: it is by far the greatest act of love. He was right. I hope the happy memories, the lasting legacy of your journey with Jasmine, and knowing you did all you possibly could (and then did some more) will comfort you each and every day while you cope with the tear in your heart and the hole in your life. Hugs.

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    1. Thank you, Sue. Yes. If there was some good hope that we could fix things once again, we would have kept fighting. It's not like Jasmine was never in worse shape than that before. But there was good prognosis. We fought and she got well and the suffering was worth it. This time it would have been just suffering with minimal hope. That just didn't make sense to put her through that.

      I just so with there was something we could have done ... but there wasn't. The universe conspired against her and we couldn't overcome it this time. :-(

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  17. I only just read this news. I'm so sorry for you, and for Jasmine. Such a tough decision for you, and I trust you've made the right one. She will be missed, truly, by you (obviously) and by the rest of us.

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    1. It was the right decision. I just with things could have played out differently and we didn't have to make this decision just yet. I was so hoping she could have had one more summer up on her ranch ...

      But it wasn't meant to be. :-(

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  18. Jana, I wish I had seen this sooner; so sorry I'm late with condolences. I'm so very sorry--I loved hearing everything about Jasmine, but your heartbreak is the hardest. Love and hugs.

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    1. Thank you, Hilary ... condolences can never be late. Only treatment can be on time or late. Once there is no more treatment, time doesn't matter any more.

      I'm sure your sympathy is just as sincere today as it would have been yesterday.

      I will keep Jasmine's legacy alive, so other dogs can benefit from her medical struggles and successes, even the final crisis. She can keep helping forever this way.

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  19. Hi Jana, please let me say again how very sorry I am for your loss. Jasmine was such a beautiful girl. We were all rooting for her. But you have titled this post perfectly as it was an act of love. I know your heart is broken and it will be for quite some time. We are holding you all in our hearts... I know it seems impossible now but you will find peace again one day...

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    1. Thank you, Leslie. Just so sad we couldn't have fixed her this time any more. Too many things were against her all at once.

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  20. Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about Jasmine. I know all too well what a huge loss this is. When Cosmo passed, your message to me was so simple, but it gave me a lot of comfort ... "It's not about the end, it's about the journey." I hope that remembering the many wonderful days you had together will help bring you some comfort. RIP sweet Jasmine.

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    1. Thank you, it is an enormous loss. I'm glad my message could have brought you some comfort. It was when my dad passed when I came to conclusion that that is what really matters.

      I does bring me comfort now too. I have surrounded myself with photos of Jasmine in happy times, and minus some past medical crises, there were 9.5 years of them. And Jasmine knew how to be happy and live it up. She had huge zest for life. Her spirit was as bright as the sun.

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  21. Have read your posts via links from other dog blogs I follow. So sorry to hear you had to put your baby to sleep, but you did everything possible for her. Feel good about that. She'll always be with you. Take care.

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    1. Thank you, Lisa. I so wished would could have won this battle too, but this time we could not.

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  22. Oh my goodness, mom and I were not expecting this news. We are so sorry for your loss and hope that Jasmine will be running pain free OTRB. Nothing can help the hole in your heart except for great memories and time.

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    1. Thank you, Emma.

      Our animal communicator told us she has made her way across the bridge and is now running free of pain.

      ""I can tell you that she has made her transition and there was a male spirit that came forward to take her across, he was average build but very muscular and broad in the shoulders with black hair and appears clean shaven.

      He comes forward and carries her across the bridge.

      Once on the other side he put her down, she just layed there for a few minutes as if getting her bearings and then I see her jump up to her feet, she gives a big shake, as if she is getting rid of all the pain and shedding the physical body, and she just ran in cirlces, free of the pain."

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  23. I am so sorry you had to make this difficult decision so much sooner than you thought. From everything I have read, you have always had Jasmine's best interests at heart and I know she could not have had a more loving family. I am so sorry you had to say goodbye to your sweet girl and am grateful to you for sharing her story with us so we can all remember her.

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    1. We really hoped for her to have at least one more summer up at her ranch. And up until mid December she looked so great, we thought she might even get more than that.

      We did just about everything with her, for her, or about her. It's crazy how messed up our lives are now. Everything was about her happiness. Even the stupidest things. For example, we never had a chicken for past five years. Because she was allergic and I just couldn't eat something she wanted and I couldn't share with her. Now I don't know if I'll ever want chicken again.

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  24. This is just heartbreaking. I'm so, so sorry to hear of this loss. Thinking of you and wishing I could do something to make you feel better. Run free, sweet Jasmine. Thinking of you, Jana.

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    1. Thank you, Lindsay. The only comfort is that she is now pain and suffering free. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy.

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  25. I'm so so very sorry. All my love is floating your way and Riley will be greeting Jasmine as she crosses over, showing her the ropes and having a great time.

    All my love. You're amazing to do all that you've done.

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    1. Thank you, Kim and Riley. I'm sure Jasmine will have the ropes figured out in no time. She was always very quick figuring out how things worked, and figuring out how to make them work for her :-)

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  26. I know I've told you this privately but I am here and totally understand the pain you feel... my heart breaks for you, friend.

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    1. Thank you, Carol. (((hugs))) back to you.

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  27. Jana, I'm so very sorry to hear about Jasmine's cross over the bridge. It really sounds like you guys gave her everything you could for as long as you could. It takes a very full heart to make the decision you did. I hope your happy memories of her will bring you peace.

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